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Knives

Zombie Knife – We’re saved!

Zombie Knife

Good news grandma!  With the new Zombie Knife from Browning, we can silently hack and slash our way through the horde of undead corpses shambling our way.

Put that away!  That old hunting knife is only good on warm-flesh game animals and has no place in this apocalyptic nightmare.  Why would you even think such a plain knife would be useful here?

What do you mean you don’t understand why the Browning zombie knife is superior.  Are you daft, old woman, or just blind?  Can’t you see the handle is a bright neon green?  Everyone knows that bright lime green colors imbue special powers to all weapons designed to mow down the living dead.

Look, I don’t want to hear about how you just want to shoot the crawlers with your AR loaded with Hornady Z-Max ammo.  If you want to send a personal message to the walking dead, you’ve got to go “hands on.”  Sure, they are stinky, but show a little backbone would ya?

Zombie Knife Sheath

Ed. note:  I thought the zombie craze might be passing us by.  It had been more than two weeks since I received any press releases on a zombie gun, zombie ammunition, zombie ammo boxes or other zombie apocalypse stuff.  Fortunately, the meme continues!

The Browning zombie knife has a 7″ drop point blade and retails for $61.95.  The Browning zombie knife should not be confused with the Ka-Bar “Pestilence” knife or Ka-Bar “Famine” knife, also developed for slaying the undead.

Don’t Forget Your Non-Zombie Targets

monster targets

In an attempt to lead the gun industry from the zombie wasteland, Birchwood Casey is now marketing several new Darkotic Monstroid targets that includes homicidal garden gnomes, a jackalope named Snack Rabbit and a chupacabra.

While Scar Tissue may look vaguely zombie-like, I want to emphatically point out he is a normal chainsaw-wielding maniac, not some undead horror from the grave.  That should put some of you at ease.

I believe that most of these creatures are susceptible to normal weapons, fire and acid.  However, silver tipped bullets may be required for the werewolf.  Fire does double damage to the scarecrow.  (Ever wonder what it would have been like to play Advanced Dungeons & Dragons with a .357 Magnum?  Clearly I did.)

The targets are available as 12″ x 18″ ‘splattering’ targets and as 23″ x 35″ non-splattering targets.  A few of the splattering targets are already showing up on Amazon.

darkotic-target

werewolf target

yeti target

By Richard Johnson

Richard Johnson is an American author, editor and entrepreneur. He's done a lot of silly things in his life, but quitting police work to follow his passion of writing about guns was one of the smartest things he ever did. He founded this site and continues to manage its operation.